Sipra's Diary: A hectic sunday

Last week I had a hectic sunday.At 9AM choir-music in the church; from 11AM to 1:30 again joining in the choir music and listening devotional speech in the vedanta Math; Finally from 2pm to 4pm inter-generational program of discussion on the topic: Re-imagine the end of life and exploring death.Upto saturday night I had in my mind to carry on all the events. But on Sunday morning,I decided to cancel the first one;because I did not practice any piece of songs and,immediately I felt relaxed as wanton school-boy.
I enjoyed the inter-generational topic about life and death. It raises the very common questions for the elders to ponder:
Would life be better if we could live forever? Is death a taboo?..what scares most about dying? How can we be more comfortable with the topic of death?What is something  that death of some beloved one has taught?
What practical steps we should think in advance so that the way we die can be as unique as the way we live?
Life is beautiful but also unpredictable.Considering and talking about our wishes ahead of time can allow the end of life to be more meaningful and less stressful. Some seniors along with some juniors shared  their personal stories of how much loss they felt by the demise of their closest one. How  is the impact of legacy they left in their minds?

Then the audience were asked to flash some thoughts on the topic.I quoted some comment of my father in-law who was reputed doctor and to deal with death and desease were part of his daily life.whenever somebody became  overwhelmed by the death of closest one,he used to say, "to die is natural but to live is wonder".So one must lead the best use of life. Importance of intergenerational story telling is like recording  tapestry of time and events as document. It is a fact that when an elderly one dies,a LIBRARY is Lost.
Moreover ,we all, good or bad, endowed with    'death-certificate' indiscriminately when we die; Whether in every stages of academic career or in job sphere we achieve 'certificate' as promotional recognition; though certificate means 'document' but as pun it also means 'appraisal'.'Death certificate' is not less important than any other certificate of life time achivement! Perhaps more. Even those who  don't get any certificate during life time,there is hope to get it after life is over.
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Sipra's Diary; Sunrise from Columbus circle, Manhattan.

Yesterday I took my morning walk while it was still half dark though it was 6:40.But while I crossed Time-Warner building, lots of people were coming out of the subway like flocks of busy bees. The owners  of fruits-shop and snack-bar on t he street were  very busy to serve the commuters. I was walking with lazy step but curious eyes.All these racing feet and rushing bodies generate vibration in me;vibration of life! The throb of city-life. It rejuvinates the past when I was  also a part of this phase of life, how crazily ran after golden deer! and now  simply an onlooker.
As usual I stood some moments facing to Central Park, Columbus Circle,CNN building,Duane-Reade ,the pharmacy  which supplies my prescribed  medicine, and at my back side the  marvellous crescent shaped Time Warner building with huge glass door bearing proudly the gorgeous images of branded Ad companies. The street in front of Columbus -Circle runs straight parallel to the central Park towards east and meets the horizon where a beautiful church  stands in the midst,as if, waiting to witness some auspicious event; yes auspicious event!

In summer, day breaks  even before 5:30; I used to wait for the sun to come up.At first the horizon behind the church and  the adjacent sky behind the dark trees of Central park becomes little clear with  fade red halo which becomes little darker that changes into  orange and spreads more space of horizon in each step; finally  turns into  golden yellow melted sheet, too dazzling to look at,  and the sun comes up the roof-top of the church; this play of colours  takes less than five minutes!
In a cloudy day the horizon is deprived of this play of multi-colour steps; it comes up late  with fade yellow sheet ,not from beneathe the horizon but above high in the sky, piercing the roaming cloud ! I always turn back for home before the sky turns  dazzling yellow. Coming near my apartment in the west, I greet the view of river Hudson......
But yesterday I didnt wait to greet the sun; I came back early as it was cold and windy.
At 11AM I switched on  TV and came to know about
the  explosive package of bomb by mail .Couple of hours ago the place which was vibrating with the throb of life is now thumping with fear and terror not only in the New york city but  it bangs everywhere,in every heart of the country.
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Sipra's Diary :Immerson Day Of DURGA -PUJA : [Fragment of Memoir]

The biggest festival of Bengal, 'Durga Puja' ended, leaving a feeling of nostalgia like every time. So many years passed by, still, the mind goes back to the childhood of Giridih, small but very much commercially rich mining town. Though I was not aware of it at that time. what I remember  was: five new clothes for five days,new shoes,new ribbon;...to pluck flowers at early morning  with friends for the neighbourhood puja;... taking bath at early morning ,doing small works in the pandal like making garland, distributing flowers to the devotees,giving 'Anjali';beat of dhak accompanied with 'kasar-ghanta',.. taking 'prasad 'repeatedly in the queue until being caught  and chased mockingly, by someone; then freedom to stay outside in the pandal for long hours! The puja pandal was just opposite to our house. Then three-four hours break at lunchtime, waiting impatiently for the evening to go again in the pandel, wearing a new dress for more fun. In the evening during Aarati time, all ladies used to throng in the pandal; the whole atmosphere seemed to be celestial with the smell of dhup-dhuna, beat of dhak and kasarghanta at least 30 to 40 minutes continuously. At the end of 'arati', we pushed each other to keep our palms over the 'panchpradip'(=divine lamp) for the blessing of the goddess and then touched on own head; and there was also a competition to keep palms over the lamps repeatedly;...as if, who can gather more blessings than the other. During Aarati I used to look my mother's face turning my neck; she looked so beautiful with bright vermillion red 'Bindi'on the forehead between two eyebrows and new sari. It was my great pleasure to see my mom enjoying any festival, away from the kitchen and home.
I passed different phases in the long passage of life as a wife, as a mother, a daughter-in-law; But all festivals drag me to the memory of childhood, parents, friends.
I feel my parent always stay with me like a shadow! Perhaps, I think, this is because my ID as 'daughter' is most strong in me.

There are no puja festivals in mid-Manhattan. But who bothers! 

I am fine with the trove of my memory treasure ....Every morning after taking shower I switched on dhak beat, chanting mantras in 'youtube' from the day of 'Bodhan'(starting-day) to the last day of 'Bisarjan'(Immersion) in full volume to create festival environment in the lonely apartment; Looking at the immersion of the image on screen, I felt the similar  childhood nostalgia,-- in Manhattan!

After the immersion, we used to come back in the empty pandal with missing hearts to get 'shantijal' which the priest sprinkled over our head' for peace and blessing of the goddess. The vacant alter without the image in deserted pandal stood only to spread over gloomy air of hollowness.......
The image of clay melted in water after the immersion long ago; but not my memory; it still lingers.........

"# me too"....................".me too#" !from URMILA

Political Drama  of Supreme court  Judge in 2018

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At last the most disgraceful drama in the political history of America 2018 ended, by the split-hair decision and by saving keenly the prestige and honor, the great  country deserves. But the stain it created must be “saved as” memorandum to avoid the repetition of such heinous instances in future.
...It has to be remembered that this is only a short term personal 'win' for Kavanaugh, that has no power to remove his stain on character  or career in the near future. This may be harmful for mid-term elction/next term election. Because the majority of furious people of the country stand against the government's decision on the 'nomination issue. The political atmosphere is stirred up so vehemently making the water too muddy to reflect any transparent image or affirmative vision....

   So the only  first part of 'obstacle race' is over, while the rest is left in turbulent turmoil. What awaits for next step?

 For the long term lasting benefit, it would have been a better judgement if Kavanaugh refuses to accept the nomination of supreme court judge, with a good intention to unify the angry people that will  bring back the solidarity of the country; This self-sacrifice will  input an immense impact not only to him but to the ruling government and to the public. It is up to him to decide between the two options:: to catch the instant interest with a morbid future,  or to 'sacrifice' that for a greater cause in the long term! This is the opportunity for him to win trust and regards of a large fraction of people if not all. Maybe better chance is waiting!
In fact 'acceptance' means'confinement' for him to a nowhere-land of self efacement... Similar scandal case this country has in the past with the first black Supreme Court judge with ......... ..
 Though lack of evidence proved Kavanaugh innocent, the public did not accept it; like an eclipse, his extraordinary brilliance will remain shrouded throughout his career by some superstar; he and his activities will always be undervalued and judged indirectly through 'coloured lens'. 

 
In democracy people's demand shouldn't be neglected; because they are the kingmaker. For greater achievement, smaller sacrifice like 'resignation to the post' will be appreciated and beneficial for the future: Let the flood of contagious emotion settle down on the bedrock. Gap of time helps to heal up.
"If winter comes can spring be far behind?"

In this digital age, it is easy to fuel and spread political agitation like a prairie fire.  Lots of old "#me too" cases from various corner and cavern are crawling out. ( It must be remembered that this is a worldwide sensitive issue!)To ameliorate the negative effects on the environment, thoughtful strategies are needed to apply carefully before they gather feathers to become strong as a political movement like "Occupy WallStreet"," Arab spring" or "Intifada".  

                
So far America has an exemplary reputation for holding   democracy. So in such a country, a person who is nominated as a judge of Supreme Court is expected to be thorough check-up of eligibility, honesty and the question of character above any type of crimes before the nomination, so that no chance is left for such allegation. 

No doubt, democracy is the best form of government. But the pitfall of democracy lies in the backbone  which help to stand : election, vote, human rights…FREEDOM OF SPEECH….

Democracy originated first in Greece, constituted of small kingdoms, where the people and leaders both knew each other; where the people simply raised their hands in support of their favourite leaders.

Election based on the vote (which represent the wish of mass) is really complicated process in a multi-cultural, multi-lingual country like America; because neither people nor the leaders know one another directly; and no chance of that opportunity. People depend on social media who take the role of ‘mirror.’ (like  TV, Internet and I-PHONE); newspaper and the radio is now backdated. 'Mirrors'    may reflect perfectly as well as a distorted image :like the mirror we read in the fabled story

“mirror, mirror,…..”

It has been customary of the opponent party in democracy to manipulate and motivate the people against the ruling party, by taking advantage of any conflicting or debatable issue. They are prone to highlight faults rather than focusing or providing constructive ideas.

It is, of course, a healthy sign of democracy to keep the ruling party always under pressure of taking the right decision, and resisting to become autonomous.

But the weakest point is that the majority of people are politically ignorant and do not have the power to make own decision. They are still “Roman mob” commented by Julius Caesar in Shakespeare’s drama. So the destiny of election stands on the volatile opinion of the so-called mob who are guided by emotion rather than reason.

The recent game of mud-throwing over the nomination of a judge in Supreme Court with such an allegation which was too weak to be established by evidence . It is unwarranted and ridiculous to be brought to the court of the hearing board.

Slandering the character has been the most undeserving tool since President Clinton’s reign, to assassin the political career of someone. It was a burning example of women's success against assault.

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The statistic says most of the women, especially as teenage, are sexually assaulted not only in job-sphere but also in the neighbourhood or at home; but the majority of them remain silent;  perhaps, throughout the life but they become more alert and self-protective.

In US, since the Clinton case, Monica Lewinsky paved the easy path of projecting her image as ‘demi-god of courage’ for some women who outcry with an allegation against the male who has name and fame in society. The purpose was not at all to bring change in society, to make it free and safe for all women; but exclusively for own cause[benefit]!
Who knew the name of Monica before the case? …Her biography, autobiography would be sold like hot cake at the cost of the scandal.

“Scandal” is an easy way of self-advertisement.
         

 Who knows what happened in a high school-party where all were in a juvenile orgy? That too was thirty-two years back? It is really hard to prove, even, if the allegation was true. It is not a case of murder, theft or fraud which trail throughout one’s life to be questioned for evidence and proofs at any phase of a life-time. But the old sexual harassment case, (whether true or false) is too fragile to be proved by producing evidence.

The term ‘trauma’ raises questions: Why the accuser or her family did not appeal to the juvenile court to get rid of trauma? Juvenile court gives nourishment and not a punishment to the under-age young.

Secondly, according to psychic pathology, the incident which pushed in a traumatic state is expected to retain the vivid memory: hence the failure of memory of the accuser proved the case of accused to be stronger than the accuser. It remained an enigma how did the accuser continue higher study and professional career in ‘traumatic state’ without any break?

Thirdly, What made the accuser to break her silence at the crucial moment after thirty -two years, just as the name for the nomination was announced? ……

Lack of presenting evidence aroused probability that the accused might have  been used as a tool to the “orchestrated conspiracy” against the nomination of Supreme Court judge, but without preparing enough strong groundwork. 

It is sad to think that the accuser was encouraged and supported as a victim to feed 'purpose' of motivated political interest, though the defeat was evident. Politics is a battlefield of diplomacy, not the churchyard of confession which stands on ‘belief’ system alone, instead of ‘evidence’ on which judgment of court stands’. And who knows the truth? ‘Truth’ is a big lie until it is detected.
      What is the remedy to overcome such situation?

Amendment of the constitution is not new in democracy.

The country needs some Amendments in the Constitution to deal with some current fiery issues that are creating problems in society.

In the past there had been 33 Amendments.  Some of the amendments related to women were: equal rights, women suffrage, divorce, abortion, seat reservation in job-sphere etc.
The constitution granted these rights to women as they were considered as weaker section of society. All these rights gave power and made women stronger day by day. Equal rights to get job in any field has given women financial freedom, which is great!

But is there any statistical research of the changes in society as a whole in sixty years since the proliferation of women power gained the right of divorce, abortion, using contraceptive peels, and feminist movement?

Has the ‘quality of life’ been improved and better than the traditional way of family life? By the quality of life’ I mean in terms of health (both mental and physical), nutrition, education, morality, especially relationship with family and community, peace and joy in mind?

 One remarkable change in American society is that rise of women power has made the male weak. Law of a country should be natural to both genders to keep the balance of power.  Like equilibrium theory in economics, power should be equal between male and female to maintain the balance in family and in society. The social or political market works much the same way as an economic market which tends potentially to an equilibrium system, but the lack of wisdom and vision of motivated politicians and the manipulated voters prevented reaching that desired point of equilibrium.

What achievements the American women contribute in society(other than financial affluence) after wallowing in feminine freedom for sixty years? During these sixty years how many Nobel laureates in arts or science have shown their excellence? Did it inspire or input patriotism/ or higher social values to the next generation? The shift from the paternal society brought some social vices such as 'live together', misuse of abortion, moral decay, degeneracy; the remedies which were introduced for welfare,in fact, damaged the foundation of American society due to undemocratic implementation of them.

        
                  MALE : AN ENDAGERED  SPECIE: 

 

  Now men have become weaker comparative to women. In fact, men are now endangered specie.They are on the way of decay. It is not surprising that within a decade the male will be represented by robots which have already been introduced in the market.As weaker entity, now it is time for men who need rights for the support and protection from government  to counter false allegation; there should be some changes in constitution regarding marriage and divorce law. Nightmare of divorce has made the marriage system weak and brought 'living together'; contraceptive peel induced to extra-marital relationship.These social vices spread  over rampantly after the feminine freedom since sixty years ago.

Men are afraid to marry in fear of divorce which brings disaster to them both mentally and materially. Women are affected less than men do;  though they suffer mentally but they gain materially by the support of law.

Male and female are two wings of a bird. If one wing becomes invalid ,the bird can niether fly nor walk to survive.  Last three four decades children  in America are brought up in the family where dominence of mother influence them more than the father.Under female influence son-child tended  to become timid and docile than the girl-child who imitated the image of mothers in themselves.They began to develop their personality from home which haunted them from nursery school to throughout academic life,career life and marital life. Biologically the son-child becomes male but psychologically, docile, following the father-figure at home, from childhood. May be it is one of the cause that number of gay people are rising up.

 This is not a good sign for any healthy society.

Why the women, (not only for model) use scanty dress to expose their body? Isn’t it provoking to opposite sex? Isn't undermining the women as a class? Is it right to support the view of "Feminine Mystique"s highest value that preached  the commitment for women is the fulfillment  for  their own femininity?

Why the women celebreties of popular 'Talk Shows' never point to that? What is femininiy? Is it a mass-hysteria, fomented by the man-hating fanatics?

It is an etenal truth that quintessential manifestation of women is in motherhood  and in making  a peaceful home, in spite of being involved  to whatever extend in the outer world. Moreover it is not to forget that men had great contribution to fight against government for achieving  many of the Women Rights. Without their help,women would have to put more effort and time to achieve desired goals.

 

  Did women ever thought to help or support male   in rightuousness, without  any gender-bias?

Lots of women are coming out with“#me too.May be very soon some new compulsory 'app' will be introduced in the market for both gender to detect life time sex-crimes  as evidences to record the truth.

Why do only women enjoy unlimited power of   'sexual allegation” and never, the opposite?

Is it for the male “ego”! Still 'saved'in custody? Then we-ll!

Before “#hash me too” booth  propped up in every street corner  like Starbuck coffee shop, the men with their still 'stampede  sedimental manhood', can protest as antidote,…me too##,”on the opposite corner!!

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