Sipra's Diary: Fragments from Schooldays ( for Pat's MEMOIR Class. July,021)

                                                    My  First School :  Sipra Roy.        

(Printout done)

My  father who was in Railway service, transferred to a cute town of Bihar named Madhupur .My father got accommodation in the 53J.KLGuard Bunglow.The Railway station and its colony was  like a piece of wealthy British neighbourhood. It was the year of 1950 .India just  won freedom from the British rule.  Most  of our neighbors were still pure British in Railway  officers' colony .  Our bungalow was divided in four parts .In one half  we two Indian families shared  while the  other half ,up and down stairs were shared by two British families. There was a broad  wooden stairs  which separated the building  into two halves . In  front of our building was a  church-building , a piece of art, from where the sweet musical  sound of bell entertained my ears  time to time. From the corner of our long balcony ,looking at the church ,I asked my sister what was that building ,was it school? Because I noticed  kids in  sky-blue skirts or shorts and white check shirts. playing within the church-boundary .  Perhaps it was their play-time or tiffin-time.

Quarter-part of the long balcony was  allotted to me as  for  my doll's empire. But  I. used to wait for the bell and watch the   cheerful screaming   of  playful  white kids   in church and cherished in my mind to be a part of it  soon , as I heard discussion  that my father. would take me soon for admission. 

My sister  ,busy with her knitting ,answered, "It is a church   which  is similar as our  temple of Lord Shiva or Kali!  But it also  runs the  school for  the  Christians ."

Though it was not clear  thoroughly to  me  but  after all,  the word "school "  consoled me .At last the day came .  My sister made me ready with dress to go with father for the school.  On the way my father met the pastor giving instruction to the gardener .The pastor in courtsy   came near the gate to greet  my father  They talked a  while ;then my father resumed onward . I asked "where are you going?" 

"School".I said ,"Isn't this my school?"

"No, this is English medium school meant only for the Christians."

At last walking little far my father entered   through  an opened-gate  school premise named "Anchidevi  Girls' school." which was my first school  An  old white colored  building  in the middle of an open  space  with  high -boundary wall . My excitement evaporated to see the appearance of the school ! My father entered the office room . There was a table with several wooden chairs and a bench in one corner of the wall. A tall man whose complexion was dark and distorted face stood up and greeted my father  (and me too!) with broad smile  which  made me comfortable  and shook my nervousness .

He gave me some spelling and arithmetic for  admission - test   for grade -1.  I learnt add, subtract ,  multiplication ,division ; I learnt a lot  than needed for  grade one at home .The teacher  was impressed  and asked my father to admit me directly in grade 2 as I was quite advanced. Perhaps  age was not a bar  at that time .So I came back home with my father like a victor  within half an hour .ON my way back I looked at the Church with sad heart   and contempt  and just released   a sigh   silently.

Friends  of neighbor -hood came running to me at the entrance of the stairs   to ask"Done?"  

My sisters and elder brothers looked at me with bright face and admiration! Same with  the   neighbours  too ! Some of the neighbors threw  opinion  that   I would be in problem  later for  studying  at  under age .

My two elder brothers  ( named Ujjwal and Bimal. )already   had admission in the Boys' High School.  which was a large yellow-color  L-type building with big low-walled compound.  Bimal was very responsible and affectionate type from boyhood.  On the very first day ,my sister asked my brothers to escort me up to  my school. Boys' school started  at 10:30PM  while mine was 1t 10:45 with a prayer song . It was a  day of  mixture of fear and excitement .  

.....Bimal asked me to walk fast with him , holding  my hands  firmly   while Ujjwal ran away  leaving us.  behind  ; I nodded head silently .The Boys 'school was situated nearer than the Girls' School. Between the two schools  there was a large  orchard .  Coming near to  the  corner of the orchard ,Bimal   told  me "can you see your school with green gate ? I am late .Will you be able to go  alone now?" 

"yes,sure .  Came running to the green gate of school, I couldn't enter as the gate was locked from inside.  I pushed with force but failed to bulge it  Then  I turned back to call my brother for help and saw none but the  school building of the  boys' stood , as lifeless  as the  dead ; I was chilled with fear ! what would happen to me!  Pushed the green gate again.  Then I saw a girl smartly entered inside,   by  bending  and unlatching  a small  window like opening in the big green gate.   By instinct,  I  too, instantly pushed myself  behind her back  just like a  calf. It came to my sight that all girls stood in  several lines  according to class-wise  row  on the long veranda , in front  of the five /six class-rooms  for prayer song . As  I  was about to run to join the row I felt a sharp pinch  like almost injection on my heap ; turning head I saw the girl (I followed) : "Hssh, with one  finger on  her lips but  closed eyes warned me, and then again two palms near her chest like a great devotee, and standing like statue. Prayer song started .....the girl threw glance from the corner of only one eye to me. 

"Be like a statue until the prayer ends."

I obeyed  her but kept my eyes opened, perhaps in fear of getting another injection-pinch p!  At the end of the prayer  a lady teacher said something , might be some notice , but I couldn't hear. Then the row moved in a serpentine  course  to corresponding classes. I tried to stand behind a girl moving towards grade 2.  But a girl nudged me hard with her elbow;  she  dragged me  towards  her saying  "you belong to this line : grade -2 .  I know you !  I am Bithu   .You are from the rail-bungalow, right? Our dads are good friends."

I saw a strong built bobbed-hair  smart girl with sharp. eyes and feature . Then she ordered ,"Listen, stop talking with any girl of the colony .From tomorrow you will come with me together in school ,O.K? 

She   finished  her speech in a military order ,and with another  push of elbow before entering  the  class .room ;  no sooner another girl pulled her in the corner and whispered something in her ear .

Bithu, like an eagle threw glance to other corner and said ,"I will see in tiffin time !"

The teacher entered    with a long copy which was registry copy or "Call-book".

All girls took seats  except me.

The teacher greeted me  with broad smile and asked my name .She pointed an   empty   desk as my  seat.

I felt comfortable at  the broad smile .of the teacher.: a  skinny lady with a  green printed cotton sari ;  image  of her broad smile  displaying the  set of big teeth  which were yellowish  with moss-green border like fencing  between teeth.   which guarded the identity of each teeth.  It was a wonder to me how teeth   could grow green lining;   was  it  due to long time  dirt  ? 

The teacher announced me," your roll number is  11  grade -2" .and put a sticker # 11 on my desk.  There   were  another  set   of  several desks   on the  left side of the table which was marked as  grade -1. There were only 5/6 girls leaving few desks empty .

In grade -2 also   had  few empty desks . Perhaps those desks  were for the absentees. That male teacher who took  my admission test entered the class and said something to the teacher ,( might be about  me!) Then before leaving he patted me on   back  in encouraging voice ,"hope you are fine?"  I nodded my head . My class teacher gave   me treat again with that awesome  dental  smile ! 

First week of school went peacefully. Bithu, that bully  guy,  was absent  in the class  all these days. I was very shy .I took  admission late, in  the mid-session; the rest old students were friendly in small groups; nobody called me to play ; also  all were much older than me; I felt alone.  Though I was   quite advanced  but I could not follow the instruction of the teacher some times .One day she asked to write tables of 8,and 9. I noticed the girl sitting next to me writing in a  different way.  Suddenly the girl saw me watching her copy, asked  "don't you know tables"? I stared at her speechless. She immediately stood and complained to the teacher, "Miss ,She is'nt writing "The teacher came to me and on seeing  the blank page  asked me "don't you learn tables   of 9?"  Though I learnt by heart up to 20, I nodded my head.

Teacher:  "Do you know  tables up to 5?"

I nodded my head again.  Because no sound came from my   dry throat. I felt all the girls were staring at me. Then the teacher took my bag and held my  hand and made me sit in the row of grade- 1.

 Teacher "You are too young for grade 2".   Grade 1 and 2 were in the same room and   under same teacher .Because  number of less students  or scarcity of teachers ,I didn't know.  

I felt terrible insult to think that it is a great insult as well  as  demotion. With heavy heart I came home but didn't  disclose to anybody  of the house. Perhaps I continued about one month   in grade one.

Then one day ,the male teacher entered the class angrily with the roll call  book and crossed the class teacher why she changed my name from grade -2 to grade -1. To my astonishment , my class teacher flatly denied that she did it .They began to argue bitterly . My class teacher  who appeared soft and benign, shouted  against the male teacher for accusing her . He left the class room but came back  again with the registry book . By the time my class teacher promoted me to previous grade -2  again.

The male teacher told to sit hence forward regularly  in grade -2.  I nodded my head  with gratitude.  I was relieved from  pressure, as if , a mountain melted from my chest. But  my young  mind was shrouded  about the image of a teacher to think how  a  teacher could lie!

(CONTINUE)

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Sipra's Diary: Gotham 's Write (Pr.int) "Knock At The Door"

Words-1,152                  ". Knock At The Door".  by Sipra Roy

         The sun bent towards west, but darkness of evening yet not set; the fusion of day with night or 'dusk ',as we say, is always very sensitive moment  for  me !

     .......I was watching a movie about alien on T.V  and was very much absorbed  in the alien world . This was an incident about 18 or 20  years  back  when  stories about aliens didn't  mushroomed  the movie world . The alien of this movie was. a good and friendly one .It looked like only a ball of light , hardly  conceivable to others.;  though. it could change its form . The story was about a boy named Criss   who was teased by his friends of   both school and neighbourhood   His father. who was researching   on" Aliens. " was   missing from   the.   lab of the small hilly town   all on a sudden. when the boy was only 3/4 years old. He was raised  by his single mom  who was a teacher of elementary school . As the  boy was autistic ,he was teased by the classmates and friends of neighborhood.   Teachers were also not very sympathetic.  to him . Most of them downgraded  him as  back benchers. so the boy criss preferred to stay alone ,and away from teasing friends; He grew up to 15 years by  age  as  a sad  boy . One night Criss lay on bed  ;he felt  somebody covered his body with the quilt and heard a soft voice requested 'will you be my friend?" ......his mother peeped  and was happy to see  Criss lying under the quilt by himself .

He saw nobody  ;'Who are you speaking ? I Cann't see anybody!

"Here  am I,  on your chest".Criss saw  a round-shaped glowing ball of light on the quilt over his chest .  As  he touched the ball ,his palm got soft warm and soothing effect ;he felt celestial joy in body and mind ,

What's your name and  wherefrom are you?

"I am Alien from other planet'. I am sent here to make you cheerful ".

Criss  : You   must show your face to me.

Alien transformed  into a small winged rabbit, just  as soft toys;  he had only one  big  dreamy eye  on  forehead   .which mirrored   love ,  curiosity and kindness ,  for nostrils and mouth,  only three dots   were  on the face !

Criss:  "O my new friend ,tell about your land ,school and friends ;Do your friends teased you and you fled here to avoid them?

Alien. :  "I am sent here to be.  your friend. and to accomplish some other secret  purpose . In time, I will disclose you everything. But  don't disclose  about  me to  anybody ,OK?  I will cleanse the social atmosphere of this town; let us sleep now ; the rest will be tomorrow. ; Your mom  peeped  twice from the. door- curtain ."

Criss was very happy with the new friend from the  other planet !  He became a happiest boy of the town now.   He sang ,played quiz, enjoyed  bath in the hot spring  and got  help  from the new friend in study, school home work etc . Mother was happy to see  all-round improvement of her son and also,  little surprised for this sudden change. One night when the two were reading a comic book and giggling ,mother   noticed  Alien  and came to know the   story .She promised to  Alien  to keep her mouth shut   .....  

Later on she   was thrilled to  know   more important secret  from   the Alien that her husband was alive . Father of Criss was prisoned   by a wicked team of scientists  as he denied to disclose  the password  of his research.The wicked team would  keep  him alive with  care. and caution,    until they got the clue of  research to claim their own "patent" from government  for  fulfilling  their  own material interest . Alien had been sent to rescue father of Criss   from the   criminals  and bring back law and peace to this small town.Hearing this,   mother sighed  with closed eyes ;but shadow of   fearful anxiety   and  light of hope simultaneously  played on her face .

    Surprisingly,  team of friends ,both in school and   neighbourhood  stopped teasing  Criss ; they behaved normal and friendly .The young children of school and neighbourhood  of different race and religion   became friendly with one another.The neighbors of the community were surprised  to notice the change in the behavior of their  children :disciplined, obedient, loyal  not only  to teachers in school premise but also  same and respectful to the elders of the community . There was no more quarrel among children in the playground .Even the meddlesome people abstained from  interfering among themselves.All on a sudden ,peaceful creative environment spread  over the community .

     But  Some people became anxious and restless  to spoil , to destroy  this environment as their importance suddenly dropped  down .   These miscreants were  linked and led  by that wicked  team of scientists.  Somehow  the team  of scientists  suspected the presence of some Alien  in the town.  So they  hired the miscreants to destroy the   unity   and peace  of the town  by theft ,loot, plunder and murder. If they could damage   the unity  among people then  they  would try to know the whereabouts of   Alien by  selecting  a 'spy' from the.  neibourhood . 

Damaging is always easier than to reform . So it happened .The scientists spotted the   house of Criss  with the help of miscreants  and started interrogating   Criss.

 Criss was trembling in fear ; Instantly  Alien turned into a small spot   of pale light,- almost invisible. Alien made invisible to Criss also.  

Then he pushed. Criss and  his mother. into an underground space through a. narrow and long  shadowy stairs;  the space looked like a  lab in  the cave having  many  multicolored  lights as twinkling stars  where the back of a person was seen busy, leaning  before  a screen like computer ;  the person  seemed  very familiar ;   was it her missing husband?...seemed unbelievable!   AS they moved  forward  inside , a  cry of exclaim  came out from the throat  of Criss's mother:    Who are you? The man turned his head ..........

At this  climax point , I startled   to hear the knock at the door ; knock and the door-bell simultaneously!  I was so much engrossed on the screen that I felt ' knock'    shakes  my subtle senses  and. brain too!   Did  the miscreants   reach  here.  ?.....    

As I opened the door ,  my twin    vociferous  grandsons  entered , ( shattering the planet of Alien  ): jumping  and started dancing      with loud shout ,

 " We won the match ! We won the match  today ! "    Throwing their  sweaty jersey  on my face , opened the door of refrigerator  to hunt their favorite   choco-icecream   and might be something more.! 

                                                                                             

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Fragments from childhood: ((DumDum Airport ))

(print done)                  FRAGMENTS FROM CHILDHOOD

I went Dumdum airport with my parent to receive my brother when I was only 6-years old.  My parent left  the view-lounge to  down stairs  to receive my brother. 

Instead of following them, I  continued to stay   with other viewers,  watching  in wonder  the flights from the sky.  This was  the  first time  I. came to "VIEW-LOUNGE "I was totally absorbed in  watching the flights ;......

Suddenly I felt    somebody caught my hair tightly from the back and dragged to the ground floor while I flooded the way pissing in fear. Chilled with fright I thought I was being kidnapped. As I was able to turn,  my head  , I saw the kidnapper was none but my own father!

Later  I came to know  that  my parent  suddenly acknowledged   that I was missing and being anxious, began to search me crazily in the   whole  lobby, all restaurants and shops . Finally , my father found  me   enjoying on the  view-point . My father's    mad behavior  was perhaps a mixture   of catharsis or calming  down   his nervousness ,  his  prolonged  worries ,  anxiety and perhaps, assurance of finding. out  me safe  !  

Sometimes love and affection makes a man a mad cow ;    few moments ago he was dying for me  and his  joy by instinct   was  expressed  in terrorizing  me   like"  reward "as soon as he  found me!

               Love is so amazing!!

                                                                     Print out done on Aug 29. 

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Sipra,s Diary. :Soliloque..........in prose( Colonade building. )

 

The  angel SPIRIT asked the bereaved  partner -SOUL ,  " What for you are torturing  your own soul?"

"You should let know the family your feeling, any moment you can go to other world!"

"So let me go; it seems my time has come near ; the more fast, the more good  .   My passing away will be the 'best gift'  to remember  with the happy moments of my nearest  part  of body  .   I will fly like a phoenix bird   in the sky   or   .......may come back.  I,m not sure. "  

Sipra's Diary: [Re] " Three. poems on same theme but different Titles"

 

9Print out done)

I wrote a poem.       (1)"   Crack -in-jar "

                                 ( 2). Creative Force .  

                                    (3). Outburst.  of Pain. .

                      I was browsing.  my Treasure-box of Google Blog  "Debut 2015'.   I do it    to. edit  and  check   whether anything is lost .   The above poems are almost  of  the same theme, but written in different time ; Only   Some  of the  Lines,  languages  are   little different. .

I now brought under the same canopy of  "SIBLING". poems.  

I have no proof   to establish the truth or validity of my thoughts .

All the sibling poems were   spurred.  from   Rumi  to inspired me ,  to write  "CRACK-IN-THE -JAR".      Likewise.  I wrote

There are some more "Sibling Poems  on  SILENCE   like  :"Spirit OF SILENCE". ;  BLISS. OF     SOLITUDE'   .

.......Some of my thoughts are very unique. But I seldom expressed  them public .  Because they erupted from my own brain or heart or mind ;  They are not of research-based -product . . 

I  wonder  to think that how those profound facts  of  cosmos visually appeared in me like  vivid images ! Perhaps those profound paradoxes were buried in the chthonic  level of spiritual  ground  as seeds. and  came out from the  Atlantis  of soul. ;  I am not sure whether  they are truth or mere myth ..  Because  our real understanding is a creative mixture of certainty and unknowing.     But I am proud of my   heritage  ,  of my pious parent from whom I owe this  spirituality,  unconsciously.  I  wish to sweep over the layers of   my psychic fog and  open my natural alchemy of  personal   transformation ;  

....true   personal strength. doesn't need   any superior intelligence   but     courage   and  earnest  willingness to reveal,  and  divulge. .

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