Memoires Of (My Journey Part- 1 . )

 TITLE::  Looking back…    19th Jan 2019 

               

I  have crossed a long way of the journey in life; Looking back, even to sketch the outline of life will be as long as mini-epic; perhaps lives of many of us are almost like that.
My life contains neither horror of war nor victim of sex-abuse; Neither experience of torturing or negligence of step-mother or father nor a victim of terminal illness; neither divorce nor any secret extra-marital relationship. Such a plain life without pungent spices leaves little space to write striking ‘memoire' to get a projection of interesting fiction.

 I think my diary is a kind of proxy to memoir; but though my outer life was devoid of any stain or glory; my inner-life was vast and enormous as from my early stage I was a psychonaut; my little mind was full of small wonder and queries, most of which remained unanswered.

Recently I have joined a memoir writing class. Next week I have to submit.I am thinking from where to start. I took a telescopic view of my life and decided to take a back-step journey: beginning from ‘now’ to ‘then’. I divided my life -story in two parts. The greater part of my life spent in India which is lengthy and present part of life in this foreign land last five years. 

I came here just after the funeral ceremony of my late husband was over.
It was  a time of March //or April 2001,  just after the funeral ceremony of  my husband was over.
My eldest brother with his two daughters came and escorted me to leave to the Dumdum airport at 8 PM. The Flight was at 1 AM. After taking boarding pass  and before joining the passport queue,I stopped a while to look back: The three of them were leaning against the visitor's railing.---my 70 years' old brother and his two daughters, Rinku and Jhumu,I could not see their faces clearly but I felt their deep concern for me from the distance;...One last glimpse; I remembered last advice from Rinku, my beloved niece." be cool but alert! We waved one another; Then I joined the queue.                                 


..........After the formalities of passport and papers, I sank into a sofa. Alone. With closed eyes I surveyed my desolated apartment ; I try to memorise  of several things: Whether  I have locked and  disconnected the  cylinder from the oven ; switched off the main box of electricity; closed the windows and all the taps properly  and so on;  the day  seemed to hang on me  as pretty last six months ago  long ago ;Being  sure that I did everything well I opened my eyes.  The lounge was crowded. I felt numb. The crowd seemed to be some shadowy entity from some unknown planet. I sat thoughtlessly. I tried to pull myself  from fading-away feeling

......Remember? Four years back I was here with my husband, going to the US for the first time to visit our children. What an amazing zeal and curiosity were there! and now? ..no feeling. Neither grief nor joy   Even no fear or nervousness. After the announcement, I boarded in the Singapore Airlines. Surprisingly in the same place as the first row. like the before I stared vacantly out the window and saw the deserted viewing lounge. I ruminated on my first experience of US flight. The enthusiasm as I watched everything with hungry eyes,...how my husband made fun of my curiosity and teased me for my ignorance with comments,  'I want to see what will you do without me if you are left alone'. He was showing his pride in being a frequent international flyer. I was really novice then. 

Now I was alone to take this journey across the globe.The plane started taxiing on the runway...

  The deserted viewing lounge, airport office building, cargo building passed away one by one  from my sight and then in a blink of an  eye a the innumerable city lights  in the vast, endless darkness  were fleeing from  my vision; as the plane left the ground with a jolt , it triggered a queer feeling in me :"" Oh God , I am cut off  from my land!" The plane soared higher and higher till I could see no more lights of the soil I  belonged  so long.   and I asked  to myself ," why  am I going?"

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Sipra's Diary (M.S -19th Jan 2019) Title (POEM ) Looking Back................CROW, mistery or messenger?

   The funeral party was over,

  The mourning party left

Me, alone, and an empty house.

  I woke up early before
  The chirping of morning birds 

  But lay on bed idly with eyes still closed;

  I heard the chatter of morning walkers--

  Louder than the chirping birds,

 The opening sounds of garage -shutter and shops,

  Horn of school pick-ups,

  Door-bell of milkman and newspaper,

  The smell of incense and blow of conch from the neighbour,

  Reminded me it was Thursday.

  I caught all nuances of  sound and smell

  Of which I was unaware for the last few weeks. 

   As I opened the door 

 Cool fresh air washed  my face;

 I saw the sun sweeping my balcony 

With soft morning glow;

Everything around the neighbourhood

   Was the same with no change! 

 Coming inside with a somewhat vacant mind 

I followed a habitual routine like a machine.  

 Sat in the balcony with morning tea;

No sooner a crow perched close to me

Outside the grill of the balcony.

I kept  on the grill a piece of toast

So that it left me alone

But it didn't touch the toast,

Instead sat fearless and indignant 

Until  I finished my tea. 

Next two-three days also it came,

I offered  biscuit which it took after

I finished my tea. Suddenly 

It flashed my mind

'Is it true that that deceased soul 

Revisit the abode as bird or pet?'

                                                                                                                                                                             One morning, to my fun I heard a call,'caw caw'

                                                       

 As if, asking 'why are you so late?'

Keeping the tray aside I took a biscuit 

While another crow joined the tea-party.
I was confused to decide
who was the husband crow?

  First time in my life I noticed 

This scavenger was not as  ugly as we think

Their bodies were  shiny and clean
 Eyes were like bright beads;

The  younger-thin one  must be female
I guessed as they didn't quarrel.

However, I divided biscuit  to both of them

The regular fat one declared, caw caw,"

Perhaps to mean, 'introduction is over, let us go!'

They picked up own share and flew away'.

 Gazing at their joyful parting I thought_

 How smart you are to pick up your partner 

  So soon in the other world too!!

                                                               

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wild are No Morre Wild

Wild Are No More Wild

Can you imagine dragon as pet? Yes, I Have eye witnessed it.. People now started loving dragon which was once terrorizing carnivorous animal!

Millions and millions of years ago before the arrival of human species, giant dinosaur and dragon reigned the earth.

. Through the passage of time, most of them disappeared by nature’s selection; but some scientists think that some of the species are still living.. Through the passage of time and eco-environmental influence the shape and size of their predecessors changed.

I was invited to my son’s friend house in Austin, Tx. I saw a huge empty glass-box that looked like an aquarium. At first sight, I thought all fish were dead.  Emily The owner of the house made it clear to me that it was the dwelling place of her pet dragon; actually, it was luxurious glass-apartment with two artificial caves and cactus pebbles shells scattered around the glass house.  the dragon was sleeping; A white cement or( brownish ) coloured creature seemed to be, 4/5 pound by weight.                                                   

“Is it its sleeping time now?”

“No, no, perhaps the heat of the summer makes it tired; it is relaxing the coolness of A.C. “Emily took out the pet in her lap dotingly to give it the comfort of coolness directly.

“Wow, what a surprise!”

Like a human baby with head near the shoulder of Emily and clutching her chest with claws of two fore-legs, started looking at us all reluctantly, but surprisingly not curious,  by moving its neck.

    I thought with much disgust  ‘what for tired! A creature once living on the rough surface of rocks and sand of the earth and praying hard for its food in the jungle and now being treated like a prodigal son of a wealthy man!’

But outwardly asked politely “what does it eat? “

“live cockroaches, worms insects.  It never takes anything deadly,” Emily declared quite proudly. While we were talking, the dragon was taking a tour from lap to lap of the kids and finally to the lap of my daughter-in-law who was giving massage to its back.

Emily said to me joyfully ” Look , how it loves massage; it loves Karen because it gets massage from her .”

I said, “yes its eyes are half-closed in physical ease.” Karen is a high rated chiro practitioner and this carnivorous is getting ‘free service’!
"Lucky star"! .She handed over it to Emily.

 I noticed its nails are long and sharp enough to pierce our skin like a surgeon’s knife.

“How old is it?”

“Three and half years”.   “Is it a female?”     

 “No, male.”   “ How do you define its gender”?  Emily pulled one of its hind legs with some white lines that emit some odour which the only fellow female partner gets.

“How do you know so much about them?  From   the internet or book?”

“The owner of the pet shop supplies all this information to me.

Has it any children?”  “No, I never took him to a pet shop for that purpose.”

 I said to myself ’thank god”! But throw a comment jokingly So you compelled it to forced celibacy”.

Emily informed  “dragons don’t like community living. They began to fight as soon as they meet another one”.

I was watching closely : a combination of little white cement and light brownish in colour;  very clean and as fresh as just  taking  a shower ;two  distinct  ear holes, as big as human;  the bow-shaped  mouth stretched from left to right  near below the ear-hole; two big drowsy eyes with poetic and romantic glances !

Observing my curiosity and interest Emily asked me,” Do you want to take it in lap?”

“yes “. I stretched my arms.

As  Emily made herself free from the clutch of claws, the dragon opened its mouth for yawning and I saw a clear hole in its long tongue like Comodo.  I screamed and jumped back to the wall by instinct;
“ I saw its tongue…does it spit ?”

“Yes, they spit.; but this fellow doesn’t..........

Sipra's Diary : AmeriKalidas

:                                                         “ AmeriKalidas”  

The story of  Kalidas is famous not only in India but throughout the literary world, In fact, most fabled stories of western literature were translated into English and then German from the original  Indian language of Sanskrit.Stories of “Panchtantra”

(Vikramaditya) and dramas of Kalidas reached the Western world through the Middle East.

Kalidas, India’s greatest Sanskrit poet and dramatist was born in Gupta Empire in 5^th/4^th century CE and flourished during the reign of  Chandragupta 11 who adopted the legendary title  Vikramaditya.

The most famous story about the life of Kalidas in his early life says that he was an illiterate idiot and was a dumb fool to start with. It is an interesting story about how he became an enlightened poet. 

A long long time ago there lived a king in India near Ujjain. The king had a beautiful learned daughter named Vidyavati. The princess was very much proud of her knowledge.  The king invited learned handsome princes one after another in his court for his nubile daughter. But the daughter was rejecting them all, on the ground that they were inferior to her in wisdom.  She also humiliated them openly in court.

Her condition of marriage was that the groom ought to be superior in knowledge than her. She asked each one some questions which they all failed to answer. The king became worried to find out a suitable bridegroom.

All the princes who were rejected and humiliated became angry. They were planning jointly how to retaliate against the princess. One day they saw on their way a handsome young man was cutting the same branch on which he was sitting on the top.

To caution him they cried out, “Hey man, stop, otherwise you will fall from the tree!”

The man asked, ”Why”?

The conspirators thought that it was the perfect opportunity to take revenge.  They trained Kalidas some tricks to counter the princess. They decided to send a marriage proposal for the princess with this idiot to put an end to the pride of the princess. They praised Kalidas as the wisest of all, but presently he had taken a vow of silence; so he would not take part in the debate but would answer in sign language. The king was convinced. Princess agreed to marry; as Kalidas proved to be wiser by following the instructions blindly.

But very soon vidyabati came to understand the reality. Being infuriated  She drove Kalidas from the palace.  Being heartbroken  Kalidas tried to suicide by drowning in the river. But the goddess of wisdom appeared and interrupted; Blessed him that he would be remembered forever as one of the greatest poets in the world; Blessings of the goddess came to be true.
Kalidas became great poet throughout the ages (like Shakespeare) and he was one of the nine gems in the court of Gupta Dynasty, which is known as Age of Golden Renaissance. 

At the end of the year when I think the events of last year of America, I remember Kalidas in his early days.  Is America is going to be Kalidas who was cutting the same branch on the top of which he was sitting?   Some of the mass actions, reactions agitations decisions are almost like cutting the same branch on the top of which the prime interest of America as one nation rest secured.Random use of democratic

power  by random poeool of the country

Hope Goddess of Wisdom doesn’t take sleeping peel; She will appear in time to bless and enlighten the Nation to the right way.