Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Sipra's Diary : Innocence and Ignorance

                                                  INNOCENCENCE vs IGNORANCE

Innocence and Ignorance are not same . But sometime they become so close to each other that we take them in as same . Standing in the cross road or signal of these two terms , I often question myself where is my stand?

...Innocence has some divine smell whereas ignorance emits  foul sin.

I often take such wrong decision  under circumstances (mostly against  own will )and then repent :'Why I was not strong enough to refuse '; why do I end with powerlessness etc. and pretend to comfort myself with 'let it be'!   

"Let it be" is   actually oasis of powerlessness, when everything    around goes awfully wrong,  then it showers self-consolation.

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                                   Madam Curie  

My life runs totally on compromises. I was an avid lover of academic life . Nobody knows still now, that I wanted to be a scientist. ...

...It was a cloudy afternoon. Frequent thunderstorm and lightning sent a notice to stay indoor to all of my  friends. Nobody came to play .I was in grade six.I was packing my school bag following the next day routine.Then I curiously opened a page of the science book where I read that Madam Curie discovered radium ;and there was a picture of  sparking radium.

It was black and white picture .The room was semi dark. I sat infront of the opened door which was less dark to see the picture and read . My father had  transferable job . My school life was short and disturbed .  I passed the Board exam as a private student ,at very young age.I couldn't take the science stream  because I did not attend lab as a regular student .I was so sad to know that !I continued my college life with a sad heart ,down spirited...

I don't know how did I get the degree of B.A with honors in philosophy and then M.A.  I listened attentively  to the lectures of the good Prof   and. took the lecture notes .Sadhana and Archana  were my friends throughout my college life  I spent so little time  and labour that they were worried for me .Perhaps they thought it was their responsibility (or liability )  to fetch 'Honors'. for me .They. collected 'suggestions'   and ten -years'. questions -collection (laborious job)!for me. Surprisingly I graduated with (hons). in Philosophy and  admission in  Calcutta University  for the Master degree  on first list. 

I had high   dengue fever during my examination of MA.My brother- brought  me   in his house from the hostel! 

I remembered I burst into tears   in taxi   on my way  as the thought pierced me that I spoilt so much money of my father! My brother consoled me . He promised that he would read  to help me  preparing  for taking the rest exam......................................................................

              I feel sleepy ; next time   more  to....*****


 



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