Sipra's Diary: REAlISATION (OF THE PLANET AS>.........

 

 Realization: #(1)

Planet as                                                                                                                       ( DISTOPIAN-UTOPIA)                                                             

In the physical earth the seismic wave of earthquake is measured in the Richter scale ; likewise   in every society  with the visible physical change   there is  running    continuously  an invisible  vibration in the  inner pulse-level of social consciousness.  This vibration   steers all society invariably towards the future very slowly, hardly conceivable by anyone.

In simple language every society has an outer physical change either humble or violent in form which is visible to all .But it has an inner change which starts a very long period before  the visible change, but  noticed by none but the seers ; it has tremendous  spiritual force which causes the outer change in physical form of society.

For example:  In last 100 years throughout the world the innovation of machines has brought great change for the comfort of human life: railway steam-engines, buses motorbike, cars, air -Planes,  telephone , electricity, air-conditioned, in agriculture .

we no more depend on season for seasonal fruits or vegetables .They are available throughout the season. In entertainment world we achieved radio,TV, movie Netflix  and computer . 

Last of all the Internet has caused a tectonic shift in the communication field. Any news from any corner of the globe is disseminated  or circulated to the farthest corner  quicker than prairie fire.

Where is the last stop of future?  there is no surety or guarantee. But the inner vibration already got the threatening to have  seismic pressure in the pulse of social consciousness. 

**So seismic vibration already steering the society to defend itself to survive along its   inhabitants. It is making the society ready to confront the changing future without shock.

"Online service, driverless cars, bus, truck,  investing in Space stations etc, may seem to be crazy to us now; But within 2/3 hundred years they will be part of our everyday life like metro bus or subway trains . 

Innovation of new and newer machines is doing fantastic.  From the physical point of view, life has been comfortable. 

From the medical standpoint, machines like artificial intelligence is achieving amazing result . Average longevity has enhanced due to affordable medical improvement.  Though the degree of progress is not equally same everywhere, yet there is global upliftment of humanity!  More than 80%people don't want war; they aspire peace.  Compared to the past, kindness is surging above cruelty.  Society is no more based on the principle of "might is Right". Globally people are tending towards spirituality and self-improvement. 

Then why life is still miserable ?                                      

 *Because compound awareness of reasoning is constantly causing conflict between 'right' &' wrong' which pricks the conscience to a level of ill-at-ease.  The adage goes :"More the gold is burnt ,more purer it becomes!"

Philosophically human is defined as animalty +humanity. Perhaps humanity is passing through the stage to shed its  animalty to become from Purer to purest!.>>

 * It is unwritten law that to get something we have to lose also.  The machines that provide us so much comfort also stealing our strength of both physical and mental. 

* Lots of natural calamities as well as catastrophies created by human or planetary disasters like star wars  will come like waves after waves which will cause not only demographic loss but  demolish almost the living world.  May be, future catastrophe will spare only 20%of the living world ; there will be shortage of human resources. Within two to three hundred years our beloved planet will turn to be very different, unimaginable from now. 

So  to replace that  shortage, robotics has been included in school curriculum.  Many more   unpredictable pandemics are waiting to destroy our beloved planet. People are also skeptic about investing on elaborate scientific research on Artificial Intelligence .Why the future brain will need artificial app?

It is the   seismometer of the invisible inner social  consciousness that propels  towards the future movement .  Our evolution theory holds that when apemen became able to use their hind legs to walk and to live  on the ground  instead of living on the tree, they shed off tails as abundant. 

  The. Present generation (G-Zero) get easy help from calculator internet, wikipedia without stirring their brain. Gradually the muscle power of brain will become weak and poorer.They will loose the most valuable  treasury that is memory. Global   population will be victims of alzhiemer from early age of thirty to thirty five, if not earlier! Let us imagine a fantasy world :

Dogs and cats are already popular pets. Dogs with artificial intelligence can easily be chauffeur and let pet cat likewise, be cook making the members of the house vegetarian as fish will be consumed by the cat-cook!  Cows with AI brain will be gardener and farmer producing their own food as well as for human ! hope they will not be rude to feed fodder to the minority of  human specie. Dolphins are known as intelligent next to human . So for medical department Dr.dolphins will not  be fun!  Mouse's has memory with strong retention power;...    They already own the keyboard ;  they are  also apt in stealing ( hacking); so they are the right being to  become famous as  future 'cyber cutie '  to  carry on many departments with the crown of AI:  from the responsibility  of corporate  conferences to creative company of "brand'. and what not! Elephants also  retain "memory;"   But they are too big to maintain ! Bulls are robust to be security officers along with the finance. And last but not least, what about entertainment world?

Peacocks!peacocks and some other birds  will entertain with fantastic dance along with  the music of cuckoo,  Robin and twittering birds as usual!

...There is cocktail of fun with truth in my realization.  

  After all it is my  dairy and  not  a“THESIS”for submission!  .                                                     (continue)

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Sipra's Diary: *** "SPITFIRE " chap-3 [EXCERPT FROM. FIRST JOB ]

 

Chap- 3.

Spitfire: a combustible bomb

Viviana Riess joined the London office of a renowned Investment bank as senior MD, after several job-hopping in most of the world-famous corporate MNC. She was a very different and interesting character from other women. She had an unpredictable volatile temper, perfectly matched with Stalk Market of Wall Street: sometimes too pleasant, even with the genitor, and sometimes too harsh, even to the higher officials for trifling matters. But she was loved by many for her attractive personality.
She had unflinching love for the horse, Real estate, costume and perfume. By birth she was British. She owned a ranch house from her grandmother in the village Crathie near Balmoral of Scotland. Her great grandmother had a friendship with the Royal family. She bought a horse from the Shetland Isles, Scotland and owned three more,  from ancestors. She was happy to spend her holidays with her equestrian family. She arranged a company to take proper care for the horses and the ranch.

She was single. But there was gossip around her. She and her high school boyfriend went to study in the Wharton Business school in the USA. After graduation, her boyfriend joined in the Deutsch Bank and Viviana in the Lehman Investment Bank. She went on hopping from job to job, almost in all the #Number one Investment Banks.

She met a hedge-fund tycoon, Jim Carrey of Dallas during her posting in the Goldman Sack. They became very close.   Jim Carrey began to visit Goldman Sack in NewYork frequently; and show interest to buy their new product.  Viviana  got promotion  from VP to  ED quickly ;perhaps for her special calibre of hooking such a giant   client with bright prospect.  Goldman had the vigil  eye  to scan the talent from the crowd.  

                                                                                                                                                                               Soon  she shifted to  Jim's apartment in Madison Avenue leaving her rented apartment of Westerly building. in Hell's Kitchen . Jim used to come every week end; It remained  a mystery whether they were married or not  but they lived  together in the same  luxurious apartment in Madison Avenue.

She worked for  long time in Goldman Sack. She used to come every month at her ranch house in London until she met Jim. 

Jim, though from the land of Long horn, but he had no love other than money, wine and women.

During her stay in New York Viviana went every year with Jim Carrey in Saratoga(Upstate New York )  to watch horse race, with the hope to tickle some soft feeling and interest about horse  in him.They come together  to stay in Vermont  just  to watch the grazing horses in the green ranch. In one cold winter embracing Vivi in one hand wrapped under warm blanket, relaxing  on a love couch  and with wine cup in other hand  Jim commented,

'I never met any woman so crazy about  horse, like you!' 

Vivi felt a pinch in the comment; with a quick glance she scanned the message in the crooked smile; she remained silent, gazing  reluctantly at the grazing horses on the  field,  but just apparently.....

 Jim apprehended the consequent danger of his blunder from her icy glance ; but what to do! Once the  word slipped from tongue can't be returned .   Just like a bullet from the gun! But  Jim  knew it would come back to  hit him as boomerang!

To cover up , he rubbed his nose  and lips on vivi's cheek dotingly; dragging her  closer  to his chest whispered, ' 

'look up to me, honey!... don't make me envious  of your old love for quadruped animal, please !' He looked pale, nervous.

 With a unusual formal smile she said,'it is cold I am going inside.'Releasing herself free from the warm  hug and the Raymond blanket, she went inside the room. Jim followed her like a pet,with  the  last hope to save the romance of  this winter  night.

 

They took bullion soup with crunchy garlic bread and pork nugget in dinner along with the swiss pudding in hot chocolate as desserts.

Vivi slipped under the quilt  on bed after the dinner ,with a financial magazine;  Jim  prepared two pegs of wine; passed one to vivi; he  kept the magazine by snatching and leaned cozily against the pillows on bed  closer to  Vivi.  Then switched on an  old  sexy  movie of Brigid  Bardot to watch together....    'And God created woman'.

The room was warm; soup also was warm and delicious; hot chocolate  was awesome; Above all movie was super hot,  still  the night remained  cold for Jim to keep sleepless;  and colder;.... and coldest when viviana declared abruptly in the early morning with  sipping of the bed tea  that she wanted to go back NewYork  just after the breakfast. 

 "As  'her highness' wishes' 

Jim replied little dramatically, shrugging his shoulder,  though the hotel was booked up to next day also. 

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  After coming back ,Viviana began to  search for  new  job   and  job-posting to London .She decided to leave New York. It was    the year of 2004.  Within a year she  got a lucrative post in  another Investment Bank  in London, a competitor to the  Goldman  Sack.

Soon after joining she charged  thousand volt power  to the department of the new company  ; She turned her eyes towards the Emerging  financial  market of Asian countries. She hired freshers for the office of  India, Singapura , Hongkong  She was extremely happy to get Pallabi an EMBA as candidate, qualified from the prestigious Columbia University.

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Sipra's Diary:During Winter hibernation Feb 4/2024

 

          Feb 4th/2024.Colonnade, New York.

After a long snowy cold of winter, Sun in New York  gave broad smile .Yesterday also Sun was welcoming . I enjoyed the warmth of AC room  last  two weeks  in utter idleness. 

Today well protected  with enough warm clothes I  came out of the building  for a walk.  I  was taking slow walk..... saw two beggars near the subway. of   Colombus Avenue; one  sitting on a walker with lot  of quilts and warm clothes and packet of  foods; the other one was also wrapped with enough warm clothes  enjoying a tumbler of coffee

There were busy flocks of pigeons   on the side of 8th avenue, picking  foods from the disposable boxes scattered by the side   on the avenue.And a lady with a girl of 3/4years was sitting on the  ground with quilt and warm clothes .The girl looks sick ,may be with high fever and the lady may be poor but not so wretched  to take shelter   near the.  subway stairs ;

 I crossed her ; but I carry her in my mind while walking..... She seems to come from other place ; may be  run away wife for unhappy marriage; wishing  change for better  life that is yet unknown to her !

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My father passed away during the festival of Goddess of Learning : the 7th day of  full moon.  As I opened eyes    and noticed the timepiece , I saw it was 8: 12 am.  It was. morning of  Feb ,1978.  

Every year a  big fair  used to be celebrated in my village at this time ; my father requested me to come with my son  Raja  who would enjoy the  animals in cage all day long because the circus party pitched their tent on just the  opposite field of our house.

46  years passed away !..........Father's image was quite fresh to me .

 Today I remembered my father's earnest request to come  when time was   8:15am...... just  as 46 years  ago!...(  but he expired 3 hours ago of 8:12am of this day).

I woke up ;after shower I did rituals as usual every year.

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Now I seldom write about my family in diary ; as  many of my close to  heart are passed  away. I don't know how far I am in the waiting list ! 

I came to  know  from my mom something which seemed to be queer and thoughtful  to me in her last time in the hospital bed.

Reaching to the hospital I heard the hard truth from the doctor. It was detected that  my  mother was in the last stage of cancer with limited days. 

.......My mother was wise enough to realize it.  

The room was silent . The attendant was sitting near the  balcony .

Mother with closed  eyes murmured ,

' It is a great lie to think death is welcome by any person ; we all want to live longer, even when death knocks or  blow  whistle!"

......So does my mom  longed for living when she was sure to die?  My mom...so wise ...so cool and calm!   

.....Those words  ring again and again in my mind. ....the 'Truth' from my mom...

Did any of her children ask about her last wish ?... before  the last days?

        "O Time, please allow me some  moments

           I need yet to finish the due: some urgent ;

           To share little pleasure and pain for  my dear one...........

Sipra's Diary: Excerpt from Memoir. :(.... "Listening To Myself " )

 

 Life  know not what thou art!

Though you and I walked long together

But why so apart from each other?

 

Throughout the life I swing like a pendulum between dilemma  of : ‘ to be or not to be ,‘to do or not to do’. Seldom I followed what my inner voice  aspire. The reason is that I made compromise with the situation. I gave priority to others’ demand instead of listening to my own voice. 

My first compromise happened with the most important event of life of accepting marriage decided by my parent. They got an exceptional matrimonial offer from some enlightened wealthy family with no demand of dowry; my parent was so elated that they fixed the date of marriage without my knowledge. My parent assumed that I had no objection. My aunt invited us in her house after I did   my Master degree.  My future in-laws family was invited to be introduced with me; the meeting was pre-fixed by my aunt and parent .I knew nothing about marriage ;I behaved freely thinking them just  guests. When my aunt’s daughter asked me whether I liked them, I expressed courteous  opinion, just casually. Due to communication gap of proper understanding between us, my sister showed green signal to my parent. Perhaps in those days parents used to ask indirectly   through third party about marital choice.

Though it sounds now surprisingly amusing but it was quiet normal in India at that time. 

 

       In my youth I didn’t have the traditional feminine desire of raising my own family; I had great fascination of idealistic life which meant to me we were born for good service to others with philanthropic purpose. At that time I cherished in my mind to stand by my father by taking a job and to help him to bring up my two younger brothers. But never disclose my wish, my dream to anybody. My father spent a lot of money for my education by keeping in hostel as he had transferable job and there were no good colleges he was posted.

 

      It was a time when a girl child was brought up only for getting married. .Education was given only to have better matrimonial connection  with a boy of  good family ,having bright career. Parents did not expect any financial help from a girl by earning money for parent.  My parent, too, held  the same  philosophy.

 

   When my mother saw me sobbing in the bathroom as I heard of marriage, she thought I had some boyfriend of my choice. She, apologized in choked voice for not asking my consent directly. 

She said, “ if you want, we can cancel the ceremony; it  costs only  fifty paisa  to send  –a telegram  to the  groom’s father for cancellation. But think of your father, how  his prestige in society will be ruined! A disaster in his life!” 

. .

 “ Ruining the prestige in society!” was like electric shock to me. Instantly my father’s  painful face  floated before my  mind’s eyes .

 

 “No mom, You needn’t do that ! The fact is that I have  dispute  not about marriage but about the ‘time’ :I am not mentally prepared now for marriage; I wanted to do  job  and complete the B.Ed course where I am endowed  with scholarship,” .

 

  “You can do that even after marriage. We shall inform your wish to them. But such a matrimonial connection may not come back again.” said my mother. 

 

I noticed how my decision changed the body language of my mother: one eighty degree; minutes ago she seemed to be a frozen statue of grief, talking in husky trembling voice and now  seemed a joyful  robin bird. She was moving to and fro for ceremonial preparation as swift as a winged fairy .It made me happy; though I gave  consent half-heartedly. 

Introspecting my face, she consoled me softly, “ happiness of family is based on the  degree of compromise; It will be good for you !”

 I came inside and saw my father sitting cross-legged on the bed  for everyday meditation like  a calm and peaceful  glowing image !

I said to myself,’ I should never be selfish to hurt my  adorable parent’.

I surrendered my dream to the alter of social prestige, to save the family reputation of my parent.  

 

I remembered I woke up little late with the sunrays of August from window on my face ;the melodious tune of  Shahnai  penetrate  my ear and dashed   on my  heart like waves ;  Three rattling words :’today’,’my marriage’, and ‘compromise’’ like a howling siren  crackled into my  skull !” I got up with  heaviness and headache;  I came out on the front side terrace; Scattered labourers of decorators were busy with lighting arrangements; …the sun was so scorching at 8:30 morning! I never felt before that the   melody of shahnai was  so painfully shrilling; Suddenly I felt  a tremendous anger in me ; a restlessness; I realized I did a great blunder; why had I given consent? I came to the backyard terrace; it was shady and cool ;but strong smell of cooking and noises from the ground floor; But one corner was comparatively silent . COOPER”S REST HOUSE a big bunglow   with huge compound: ” I thought restlessly how to stop the ceremony; with anger I became revengeful; revenge against my father; I leaned against the  cornice  and looked down ;nobody came in my sight; ;Mr. Cooper ,the owner of the house was a British ranger officer; he ended his life by suicide ; after that this house came to be known ‘GHOST HOUSE.” should I jump for suicide?  This was the only way for me to escape from marriage; I surveyed the ground floor again leaning against the cornice;  I wouldn’t die but only thud on the soft earth, even if I jump from this  height; just then somebody touched me from the back; I  looked back startled; saw my cousin sister with a glass of Horlicks for me.

 .

 

Destiny did not accept my choice; coming to later age  I realized  from this first compromise I gained two awesome gifts :my son and daughter. I spent basking on their successful life. My parent left long ago. My two younger brothers are well-settled in life without any help from me;  In short run my choice would have given me self satisfaction, might be elated  in  sacrificing  for greater cause but in the long run life Would have been very lonely and deserted. What happened, has happened for good. 

 

My second compromise happened after marriage: My father-in-law  vehemently  object against taking   teaching job. He thought it was menacing for his family to earn money by daughter-in-law.  My husband encouraged me to fulfill my wish; but I obeyed his father’s order.

 

I repented in the later life for neglecting and spoiling my inner wish .I had innate  ability  for teaching; an arduous zeal for research and academic life which remained  unfulfilled.

 

I learnt from life that we should neither be too rigid nor too flexible about listening to own inner voice; let not compromise  or surrender the core desire to erode the self-identity.

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