Saturday, February 17, 2024

Sipra's Diary:During Winter hibernation Feb 4/2024

 

          Feb 4th/2024.Colonnade, New York.

After a long snowy cold of winter, Sun in New York  gave broad smile .Yesterday also Sun was welcoming . I enjoyed the warmth of AC room  last  two weeks  in utter idleness. 

Today well protected  with enough warm clothes I  came out of the building  for a walk.  I  was taking slow walk..... saw two beggars near the subway. of   Colombus Avenue; one  sitting on a walker with lot  of quilts and warm clothes and packet of  foods; the other one was also wrapped with enough warm clothes  enjoying a tumbler of coffee

There were busy flocks of pigeons   on the side of 8th avenue, picking  foods from the disposable boxes scattered by the side   on the avenue.And a lady with a girl of 3/4years was sitting on the  ground with quilt and warm clothes .The girl looks sick ,may be with high fever and the lady may be poor but not so wretched  to take shelter   near the.  subway stairs ;

 I crossed her ; but I carry her in my mind while walking..... She seems to come from other place ; may be  run away wife for unhappy marriage; wishing  change for better  life that is yet unknown to her !

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My father passed away during the festival of Goddess of Learning : the 7th day of  full moon.  As I opened eyes    and noticed the timepiece , I saw it was 8: 12 am.  It was. morning of  Feb ,1978.  

Every year a  big fair  used to be celebrated in my village at this time ; my father requested me to come with my son  Raja  who would enjoy the  animals in cage all day long because the circus party pitched their tent on just the  opposite field of our house.

46  years passed away !..........Father's image was quite fresh to me .

 Today I remembered my father's earnest request to come  when time was   8:15am...... just  as 46 years  ago!...(  but he expired 3 hours ago of 8:12am of this day).

I woke up ;after shower I did rituals as usual every year.

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Now I seldom write about my family in diary ; as  many of my close to  heart are passed  away. I don't know how far I am in the waiting list ! 

I came to  know  from my mom something which seemed to be queer and thoughtful  to me in her last time in the hospital bed.

Reaching to the hospital I heard the hard truth from the doctor. It was detected that  my  mother was in the last stage of cancer with limited days. 

.......My mother was wise enough to realize it.  

The room was silent . The attendant was sitting near the  balcony .

Mother with closed  eyes murmured ,

' It is a great lie to think death is welcome by any person ; we all want to live longer, even when death knocks or  blow  whistle!"

......So does my mom  longed for living when she was sure to die?  My mom...so wise ...so cool and calm!   

.....Those words  ring again and again in my mind. ....the 'Truth' from my mom...

Did any of her children ask about her last wish ?... before  the last days?


        "O Time, please allow me some  moments

           I need yet to finish the due: some urgent ;

           To share little pleasure and pain for  my dear one...........


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