Today is my birthday......Mother's Day also falls on this month of May.
What is my birth-right ?.........
Instead I ask myself what is my duties ; did I do it perfectly at all? .....So many lapses , unwillingly or deliberately............
(I often remember Rousseau's comment :
"Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains.")
So I turn my mind to other direction to avoid regret // lamentation. I remember my mother, my father which is not novel .Almost everyday I experience so. In the background of my parent, I view Lilliputian image of myself. I am so lucky to be brought up in such a rich joyful environment of parents and extended family, friends......... What was the source of my home for sustaining peaceful and joyful environment in spite of having financial crisis, health problem, maintaining a large family!
It surprises me that I find my identity as 'daughter' more strongly. than
as wife or mother! It is quite unusual. Just few days ago we have had " Mother's Day' of which we never heard of in India.
But why we never celebrated mother's 'birth day' in her whole life ? Why it never stroke our mind though we all loved her !......... My mother lost her mother when she was only eighteen months !
..I wrote an article about my experience of FIRST 'Mother's Day' in US, 'celebrated by my son. I will try to add that piece if I can do .
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FIRST GIFT ON THE "MOTHERS’ DAY"
As I grew up in India I did not know or hear about anything such as 'Mothers’ Day'. Perhaps all days in India are considered as Mothers’ day ; Or importance of mothers is taken for granted without any celebration. Home. is not a sweet home without the presence of mother .
Anyway I came to visit my son in US first on May, 2001. He lived in Austin . When the wife of my son ‘s friend asked him what was his plan to celebrate Mothers’ Day ,I thought it to be celebration of my first visit to him. My son only grinned vacantly and reply "so far nothing decided .Nina with shrinked eyes ,"O, no; you must plan something ." Perhaps that triggered him.
Next day we had a plan to visit San Antonio, the old capitol of Texas. On the way there was a great Factory Outlet. I had no interest to halt there because I had no idea that it was worth of seeing. All the branded rare articles of the world were available there and in cheaper price. It was somewhat like exhibition. My son bought a beautiful lemon color coat for me and a shaving set for his father who was very happy to get it.
I said,” Why, a coat in summer! Now here it is hot as hell !”
My husband said with little irritation ,” Do you think winter will never come in your life ? He is giving this as 'gift' for a special occasion .”
“ Yes ma, it is for the Mother’s Day; you won’t get this brand anywhere at this price! You are free to buy some other items of your choice; but I will not change this one.” said my son.
“Ok, Ok, it is really nice, as I realized vaguely the occasion ”
That was the first gift of Mothers’ Day in my life. It is still with me .
I asked often myself why a single day in calendar was not marked in India to be celebrated for mothers?
While my mother celebrated the birthday for everyone of us including father without break! OF course there was no B-day 'party' ;but my mother used to had special "puja" wishing God's blessing and cooked "Rice Porridge"(which is equivalent to CAKE in the West) and gourmet preparations. Why it didn't strike ever that mother also had a birthday ? She was born someday to bring us all on this earth?
When I told this to my brother he also lamented for this unintentional lapse of our feeling for mother ! Though we all loved our mother. My other brother consoled me "here in India we live in closely-knitted family in much healthy society. we owe to only one mother , and one father ;whereas in the West most children have more than single parent ;Some children are away from their biological parent ;so they need 'Mother's Day','Father's Day' for the recognition and renewing the relationship.We felt the presence of our parents in our everyday life as breathing air ;So we never felt to a single day to be celebrated for them.
From when this "mothers' day happened to be celebrated. throughout US as well as the West ? Perhaps, with advanced civilization and women education, as women stepped out of home for earning money to add prosperity to home! The absence of mother created an emptiness at home and wanting the motherly warmth and affinity to their children .The new prosperity and long absence from home both jointly made new valuations to the importance of absentee mothers. .....Also it may be a successful outcome of feministic movement .
Out of 365 days offering a single day in honor at the alter of pain-taking mother's womb.......some flower bouquet, perfume , fancy dress, cosmetics or shoes and favourite dishes or dessert from gourmet confectionery. and exchanging the warmth of heart with the warmth of summer ;lastly to post snap on Facebook with cheese smile of happy mothers ! A Country-wide tribute of US festival has become now global !(but not in our time.)
Indians are excellent than ape to adapt the art of imitating . Some Indian boy, after his arrival in US, wished his mother and sent gift on this particular day, Mother was very happy to know the custom as extra bonus . Then the son was out of touch for a long time.
Mother then called her son to say,"Kya beta, Mother day ke bad vul. gaya apne ma-ko?"
"My son , did you forget your ailing mother who is suffering from artharitis and loneliness since you left India for job in US and your father passed away on sudden cerebral attack?"
Basically all the festivals ,whether Mother's Day or Valentine's or Thanks Giving are always commercial with charming gifts, social clothes, shoes ,bags , cakes ,going restaurant for gourmet food who can afford !
The motive behind all festivals, either social or religious, is more marketing of business, more flourishing of finance and the channeling of money.
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